Are we nice enough?

I’ve decided that, overall,  people kind of suck when it comes to being a good friend.

I’m not talking about my friends specifically. People in general – we’re all a little self-absorbed, and mean.

I’m guilty of this myself, but for the past year, I’ve been making a conscious effort to really LISTEN to people, so I feel that I’m allowed to make this judgement upon others.   In general, nobody really seems to care what their friends have to say.  They are more worried about what THEY are going to say, and when it’s going to happen next.

How many times have you been in a conversation with somebody that consistently changes the subject back to them?  Or talks incessantly about something that, quite frankly, you’ve discussed enough, and want to move onto a new subject?   It’s not very nice, and I guarantee that when the chatty person goes home at night, they’ll realize they don’t even remember what their friend was trying to tell them in the first place.

One of the most frustrating things in the world, is being a person who makes every possible effort in the world to include people, and at the same time, be surrounded by friends who can’t be bothered.   There’s always an excuse: “I forgot!  I thought so and so texted you!   Whatever, it was very last minute!   Oh, it was just a few of us, I didn’t think you’d want to come anyway.”

No, no, no. That is not the way you go about making somebody feel good about themselves.  Do you know what’s my favorite thing about all my group of friends?  I feel that, in many of the situations, I’m the one who brought everyone together.   🙂     All the girls I played soccer with would have never met my school friends, my work friends more than likely would not have begun hanging out with my family friends, and so and and so forth, unless, on that random night we’d all gone bowling, or to a movie, or were hanging out at my house, and I’d been like “YO COME JOIN US.”   I like everyone to be included! 🙂  The more the merrier!  etc etc.  Why can’t everyone be like that?  Why can’t we all just take a second out of our day to send out a mass text, or even a personalized one saying, “Hey.  Going to the pub tonight, you coming?”   That’s not difficult!

This is not being spun out of a particular episode. In fact, tonight I’m choosing to stay home, when I know my friends are at the bar, because I have an essay to write and a test to study for (so of course, I’m blogging.)     But I guarantee half of our group doesn’t even know it’s going on right now, because nobody took the time to send a text.

Another thing. Why do people think it’s okay to be so mean to eachother?  I’m very blessed that, overall, I have an incredible group of people I surround myself with, and we’re all kind to eachother. We joke around, yes, and obviously within every group there will always be conflict, but overall we have a great time whenever we’re together.   That being said, the way we all handle talking about people behind their backs, texting, and even the tone of voice we use when we are angry, is absolutely unacceptable.  Saying things to piss our friends off because we’re bored?  Not cool!  Taking your anger out on a friend in a hateful text message you’ll probably find too harsh the next morning?  Unacceptable!  And acting like you’re untouchable because “Whatever, he/she’ll get over it…”  No. we should treat our friends like the royalty they are.

I like to think that I’m a nice person. But I’m the first to admit that there are ways I can improve my own way of handling relationships with my friends. But if there’s one thing I always do, it’s to try and make sure everyone feels included, happy, and comfortable.   In the New Year, I’m going to go a step higher, and try not to talk about people behind their back. It’s not that I’m saying mean, hurtful things – but if the person isn’t around to tell their side of the story, then it’s not really fair to them, is it?

Most importantly though, I will continue to ALWAYS invite everyone when there’s an event. You’ll never find me saying “Oh, sorry, I kind of forgot” or “Oh, I thought she texted you!” as long as  I can help it.   I’m going to work on listening more – every conversation, I want to learn (and remember!) a new fact, or feeling, or emotion, from the person I’m speaking to.

I’ve been working as a tutor for the past couple of months, but for the past few years, I’ve found myself consistently dealing with people who have difficulties dealing with the English language .And I’ve gotten very frustrated in the past. But lately, I’ve realized how hard it is for some people to get by in a world they don’t quite understand. And I’m ashamed at how short, how impatient, I’ve been with them at times.  More often than not, I’ll get in the car at the end of the shift and just vent my anger at the man who couldn’t express what size popcorn he wanted, or the lady who watched me make a hot drink and hand it to her before saying she wanted it iced.  Yes, obviously some people are just idiots.  But I think I forget that we all have hard days – we don’t all understand the same things, on the same levels. So I’m going to work on my patience. I’m going to work on my kindness.  I’m going to work on my attitude, and make sure I’m being the nicest, friendliest person I can be.

I think kindness can change the world. Don’t you?

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